My name is
Eliza Mayhem and you must never, ever forget my name for I am
very special and unique.
When Rose ignores me or gets busy with other projects, I make sure she remembers that I am still here
and needing her by doing
something to get her attention immediately back on ME!
If she is talking on the telephone, I chew the telephone cord. If
she is cooking potatoes for John, then I reach up and scatter the
peelings all around on the floor so she will have to talk to me too.
When she goes to bed so do I, and my bed is her bed, and her
pillow is my pillow. She thought she had it all solved with the
water pistol, but I took care of that and now she can't find it
because not only did I hide the pistol, I hid her glasses!
And it does not matter in the least what
words she says to me just as long as she says them sweetly and
softly; after all, I do not understand any of those
strange-sounding English words at any time because I am IRISH!
Some people say I am neurotic, I say with pride I am perfect,
absolutely perfect just the way I am. If I ever, well how does
one say it, step over the line, it's because that fancy cockatiel Buzzard in his
cage over there drove me to do it with all his yack-yacking at us in that
foreign bird-talk language of his and Rose was standing right there talking
back to him
all about it! And well, the way I figure it, if making noise is what it
takes to get Rose's attention, then I must do the same thing only
better, bigger, louder, stronger.
"Woof! Time for my lunch Rose! Where's my freshly prepared helping of
organic chicken and rice? Woof!!" In other words and I hope you are beginning
to understand ~
I rule this peaceable kingdom here at
and I am going to the Sport Horse Nationals!
please come visit us at the barn of The Nicki McGinnis Training Center
and say "Hello" to Bleu Knight
Foxy and don't forget to bring a
sandwich for me ~ Ham and Swiss on Rye with Kosher Dill Pickle on
the side is preferred please!
Signed: Eliza (AKA Ellie Mae)